Drew doesn't cry
by annieane
Summary: Drew doesn't cry. Drew Tanaka never cries.


_**I was rereading The Lost Hero when I came across the chapters of Drew- and I realized that she was an incredibly 2D character, and you know, RR never writes 2D characters. So I thought about her backstory, and I came up with this. It's probably a little too sad, but you just aren't born a bitch. You're made one. Please be nice, it's my first ever fanfic!**_

Drew doesn't cry. Drew Tanaka never cries.

Even when she was five, she'd drawn a picture of her dad, and he'd sneered at it, she didn't cry. Even though the sight of him turning away from the carefully colored drawing broke her heart. Then he turned back, and a glimmer of hope shone in her tiny heart. But he ripped it.

_"This isn't good enough," he said. "You're not good enough."_

She hadn't cried.

Not when she was six, and the boys had pushed her over and pulled her hair.

_"Ugly," they had called her. _

Then she fell into a mud puddle and she cut her lip. She didn't tell the teachers who did it. She didn't tell them even when it happened again and again and again.

And she hadn't cried.

Then she started seeing monsters, and she was convinced that she was insane. Nobody normal saw giants with one eye, lizards with more than a hundred heads. But Drew saw them. She didn't tell anyone- she couldn't tell anyone. She had nobody to tell. Then a sphinx attacked her and she broke her arm.

She hadn't cried.

Even when she was ten, and she was suddenly painfully aware that she had no mother, and practically no father, either. Because every day she reminded him of her mother. So he hated her.

But she hadn't cried.

Even when she was eleven, and one boy had called her fat one too many times. So she ran into the toilets at break and she threw up. It felt good. So she did it again. And again. She did it until she felt clean.

_"Just one more time," she'd promised herself. "Just one more, one more. Then everything will be okay. Just one more time."_ It wasn't okay. The boy kept calling her a fat ugly pig.

She still hadn't cried.

Not when her dad married again, and her new mother had a daughter, Beth, who was her age.

_"You'll be like sisters," her step mother had promised. _

They weren't.

Her new sister was naturally pretty- beautiful blue-gray-green-gold eyes, curling blonde hair, thin. Not like Drew, who had to diet every day, work out every day, put on makeup every day. Beth tried to be kind to Drew, but she was always mean by accident.

_"You're so skinny," Beth had said. Drew flinched._

_"Not skinny enough," she'd muttered._

_"You're like, anorexic!" Beth laughed. Drew scowled at her._

But she hadn't cried.

Even though on her thirteenth birthday, a satyr had come to take her away to Camp Half-Blood. Drew tried to say goodbye to her dad, but he closed the door in her face.

She hadn't cried.

Even when they got to camp, she was immediately put in the Hermes camp, on a tiny spot on the hard wooden floor, swallowed by a sea of sad faces. They reminded her of herself, and she wondered if in a few weeks, she would look like that too. Then she thought she probably already looked like that.

_"You're not special, snowflake," Mr D had told her when she started crying. "Nearly everyone here has mommy or daddy issues."_

She watched the orientation film, and almost laughed. She definitely had no divine blood in her at all. She was just plain Drew- plain fat, ugly Drew who liked all the boys, whom the boys didn't like back. She was claimed by Aphrodite on her second day. The goddess of love and beauty! Beauty!

She hadn't cried at the irony.

But then she'd received the blessing of Aphrodite, and it had never really properly worn off. The world seemed like a better place. All the boys liked her, and she realised she wasn't really plain fat ugly Drew. She was Drew, daughter of Aphrodite, tall, slim, beautiful. The counsellor, Silena, was nice to her, and all the other cabin mates might have disliked her, but they didn't openly scorn her. They even taught her that pink made her brown eyes pop, so she wore pink and black eyeliner every day. She excelled at scaling the lava wall, archery- _must be Aphrodite's blood; Eros is great at archery too!-_ and also crafting. She hoped for a quest one day. And she got a boyfriend.

She hadn't cried when he asked her out.

She spent so many happy days with Lee Fletcher- they walked in the woods together, sunbathed together, practised archery together. Sometimes though, Drew liked to watch him heal others, and look at the sunlight sinking into his hair. Then he'd glance over and smile at her and make a face to make her smile as well. Lee also liked to sing terrible songs just to see Drew laugh. He claimed that when she laughed, she glowed slightly pink. She never really believed him, but always blushed and kissed him just to shut him up. And when he finally said, in the style of his father, Apollo, in bad poetry-

_"Drew, Drew,_

_I love you,_

_Cool and sweet_

_As Mountain Dew."_

She hadn't cried. But she'd said it back, and then they laughed together at the terrible poem.

And when the Battle of the Labyrinth happened, she'd been at the centre of the battle, not like her cabin mates. Because she was fighting for the only family and home she had left. And then after, she'd looked for Lee, only to find him wrapped in a golden shroud. Still. White. Cold.

She hadn't cried.

Then she'd realised. Quests and battles- they were stupid, pointless. All they did was get people hurt and killed. When she told everyone, Silena tried to comfort her, but Drew was cold and angry in her grief. She was inconsolable.

But she hadn't cried.

Lee wouldn't want her to cry.

Then Silena's boyfriend was killed, and Silena was inconsolable as well.

_"Don't you see," Drew had said. "I was right."_

Silena had cried even more. Clarisse had given her an angry glare. Drew didn't talk to her any more after that. Then she'd thought of Lee, and she was so incredibly sad for Silena.

But she hadn't cried.

Silena died about a week later. Drew watched her die.

But she hadn't cried.

Then she'd found out that Silena was the spy, that she'd caused Beckendorf's death, that she'd caused Lee's death. That it was all Silena's fault. And she might have died a hero in the end, but she was still a traitor. And Drew hated her. Silena could have still had a boyfriend, but she chose wrong. Drew didn't even get that choice.

She hadn't cried.

Then Drew was the new head counsellor. She tried to be nice, but she was already so cold and bitter, so she just gave up, but still called them "hon" and "sweetie" just to show that she was trying to care again. Trying to be warm again. Trying to spread love and beauty again. She started the heartbreaking tradition though, so that they could understand what a stupid, fragile thing love was.

_"Don't you see?" She'd wanted to scream. "It's for your own good!"_

They hated her.

But she hadn't cried.

Then Jason, Leo and Piper had arrived. She hated Piper from the beginning- she was naturally pretty, and had the exact same eyes as Beth, but they shifted colour sometimes. She wanted those eyes- not her dull brown ones. Piper still looked good with no makeup, bad clothes and disgusting hair. And Piper could charmspeak better than her, and she even tried to get rid of the blessing of Aphrodite. And Jason. Jason. He looked a lot like Lee- golden hair, bright blue eyes. Lee's hair was a shade darker- more sandy. But Piper was disgustingly attached to Jason, and then she'd humiliated her in front of everyone.

She hadn't cried.

When Piper had come back, she had threatened to fling her across Long Island Sound if she flirted with Jason. Well, Drew had thought, you haven't even known him for more than a few days. Why do you think he likes you so much? And then she'd thought that she hadn't threatened to fling Thanatos across Long Island Sound. Although she'd probably killed the monster who did it. And Piper had challenged her for the head counsellor position. She'd even taunted her about not going on any quests. How could Drew tell her that she couldn't even look at the archery range without remembering where Lee had first kissed her, that she couldn't look at a weapon without throwing up because what if a knife had killed him? A spear? So she stepped down, even though being head counsellor and doing cabin checks reminded her of Lee, who was head counsellor as well, and always gave her flowers when he inspected the Aphrodite cabin. She lost that.

She hadn't cried though.

Not when the Argo II had finally left to go to Camp Jupiter, and Piper had left, along with Jason, who looked more and more like Lee, along with Leo, who made everyone laugh, and even coaxed a slight smile out of her once-she hadn't properly laughed in a long time, left, along with Annabeth, who'd held her hand when Lee died and Drew had sat by his shroud for hours on end in stony silence.

She hadn't cried.

She hadn't cried even though her life was a mess and everyone who didn't hate her was gone and she felt so very alone in a dark world.

Because Drew doesn't cry. Drew Tanaka never cries.


End file.
